doctorwholia:

i wanna look like someone who can cut you but still bakes cookies in her spare time

neutroisenjolras:

if you ever try to befriend me and you expect to be in frequent contact with me i am so sorry. i do that with maybe two people and even then i often go days or weeks withouts saying anything before talking daily for a while. 

the point is if we dont talk that doesnt mean i dont like u and think about u a lot im just terrible at maintaining close relationships

consistentlyaverage:

excepttheeyes:

No, but how sweet is it that during Harry’s first week at Hogwarts Hagrid sent along a note with Hedwig to invite Harry to tea rather than asking him in person so Harry didn’t feel left out and actually got some mail

HAGRID IS SO UNDER APPRECIATED THIS REALLY BUGS ME

llcooljofficial:

one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were

for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse

because i said dildo.

sherrocked:

My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other

"It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a lifestyle, or a job. If it doesn’t make you happy let it go."
william chapman (via psych-facts)
spoonful-of-mustard:

Most honest book review ever.

neopiacentral:

I love buying new things but i hate spending money I’m so angry

stardustandstrawberries:

americachavez:

marvel give me a short about sharon’s undercover time as a nurse/steve’s neighbor and that one time she had to fight off ninjas from steve’s apartment while he was like, making dinner and sitting alone reading obama’s biography

With the music turned up really loudly because he’s a gentleman and he thought the noises were her having sex.